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Hey Guys!

Welcome to the 32nd Issue of Guys Fishing Weekly!

Thanks for spending even just a little of your week with us. We are grateful for you!

Stay Legendary,

- The GFW Boys

Our favorite sport of fishing is a bit weird in the sense that it is usually an individual sport, that many never do alone.

It is a sport that often includes a “fishing buddy” with the unwritten code of “be quiet, or you will spook the fish.” Then again, maybe this is just something grandpas say to get you to shut up as a kid.

But nevertheless, you are usually fishing with someone, much of the time side by side, with a lot of small talk about what is working, and how big the fish you missed was.

There is also a lot of empty silence and meaningless chatter in this sport. Silence is a good thing, and a reason that many of us do it in the first place.

There is a lot of bonding between men that happens when we help our friend net the catch of the day, or in the walk back to the truck after the always memorable “skunking” on a hot summer day.

Then again, there are many other ways to use this empty time to bond more deeply.

And this all comes down to the conversations we can create when there are lulls in the action.

Often when we are fishing together, we are wading rivers or fishing from a two person boat, and we take breaks to sit, eat a granola bar and some water, tie on a new fly, or just marvel at the sheer beauty of the world and our insignificance in the universe.

These moments are my favorite times. It is a time where I can truly connect with my fishing buddy of the day.

Half, if not more than half, of the battle in connecting with others is listening. Listening is a hard task for many, especially when social anxiety creeps in and the little voice in your head drowns out your counterpart.

“ok, think. What are you going to ask next? Better hurry, they are wrapping up their comments.”

And next thing you know, you haven’t heard a thing they said, AND you don’t have a good question. In fact, you go blank. And you fall back to some pointless question like “what vacations do you guys have coming up?”

This happens all too often in my life when it comes to small talk and conversation.

Admittedly, I am by default much better at listening in the first place, which helps me gather fodder for asking a relevant question back.

But in small talk land, I am doomed, because this part of a new conversation is all about collecting data to ask a future relevant question or find something that connects you both. And sometimes not enough fodder has been laid out. Then that moment for a question sneaks up on me and I am left grasping for the first (usually empty) question that comes to mind.

So, I have been looking for more “middle conversation” starter questions that I can use in these situations. Sort of arrows in my quiver to use in times of need to keep the conversation going. I always try to have a couple of these on speed dial going into a conversation.

The best questions are ones that give your fellow fisherman a chance to tell a story, rather than a canned answer.

If you store a few of these in your back pocket, you can use them to open up the conversation and get past the basics. A tool set that will help you on the river or at the next holiday mixer.

1. “What is one thing you are really excited about right now?” or “What is getting you really excited besides work right now?”

   This is a great open-ended question to ask someone that is different than “What have you been up to?” You can and should ask this in as inquisitive and nonchalant way as “How have you been?” and let the people take it from there.

   You will be amazed how much more it will open up people to talk about themselves and usually disclose something you didn’t know, or get them sharing something you can keep them talking about.

2. “Where are you from? Cool! What was your favorite thing and your least favorite thing about growing up there?”

   This is a cool one because it gets people reminiscing about their childhood. And often, since you were a child at one point in time, it gives you a way to relate to them.

   Before you know it, you will yakking it up about favorite fishing holes and prom dates gone wrong.

   Pro Tip: You can substitute “where you grew up” for “what do you do for a living” or “where was your last vacation”?

3. “What is something you have recently changed your mind on?”

   This is a bit of a deeper question, and usually something that is a right turn from where you were. It is also one that you should be prepared to give your answer first if they can’t recall something and kick the question back to you.

   But this question is great for opening healthy debates, or just giving someone a chance to get on their soap box and tell you something they are passionate about.

4. Broad Compliment, followed by pointed question. Example “You have the best fishing gear, what is your favorite game changer that you bought for under $25?”

   This is one that you can use for hobbies really easily, because people love having secret tips about their hobbies. Women use this structure all the time, and it works wonders. You will hear women say, “I love your outfit, where did you get it?” Or “That stroller is gorgeous, how does it hold 4 kids?”

   They are great at getting other women to open up with stories. And that is what we should be aiming to do too.

I lean on these questions, on a regular basis. They are great ways to find the connections between one another, and help you determine if the journey of becoming a friend is one you should embark on.

Early conversations have always been more of a challenge for me. And wading through the small talk is just part of the game that I have had to make amends with. But I promise once you are able to get through to the other side, and if you have done this groundwork well, your relationships will flourish and be more fulfilling.

So, the next time you find yourself on the river with a buddy, take a few of these questions with you to the riverbank. Ask them with the full intent of really hearing the answer, and watch your conversations, and relationships, grow.

And also, be cool with letting your friend embellish about how big the fish that got away really was.

Quote of the Week

What We Are Watching

The WORST State for Fly Fishing

Shots fired by @hugeflyfisherman, but this man is funny as hell! All his videos are a great watch, and most jokes are funny because of the little bit of truth they contain! Keep making great content!

One Fly Pattern

@easyshrimpeyes’ The Electric Lady

Really cool looking fly! Has a timelapse video on Instagram and and full tutorial on YouTube. Check them out!

One Cause to Learn About

Wild Salmon Center

Wild Salmon Center is an international organization with programmatic activities in Alaska, British Columbia, Washington, Oregon, California and the Western Pacific.

First founded in 1992, the Wild Salmon Center has prevented major threats to salmon strongholds, defeating efforts to build hydroelectric dams, hard rock mining projects, logging, and other major threats to salmon rivers in the United States, Canada, Japan and the Russian Far East. WSC has also helped found 14 new conservation organizations and raised well over $100 million for conservation and science efforts.

Website | Instagram | Donate

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